k, I went through and got rid of alost everything, so now I will start over witha clean site. yeah love lots,

Sami

weelllll!!!! I am officially 17!!! yeah.nobody called me or anything. not even rick,which is fine but still.not even veg called me. nI dunno. I guess this is gonna be my hardest year yet. oh well. just go to hold on tight and fly with it. love to ya'll. hugs,

Smai

Currently Playing Dizzy up the Girl By Goo Goo Dolls see related

- #6

k. just saw Passion. wow............................. I havent cried in public in forever and i cried and was like holy crap..... I guess I know why God made me go see it. I really needed that reality check. I think maybe I will try working stopping my cutting and my smoking and my other bad drug habits. I am sooooooooo amazed that God did tha t for us.......... wow. I have to go and read my bible I think. but when I am  a little more composed I will write more. I love you veg. thank you.

Smai

smainahalf's Xanga Site

how do you tell someone  to leave you alone? that all they do is hurt you? I love him so much, but I feel the buises and I see the cuts I make, and I know I cant do this anymore. I just want  him to go away. I pray and I pray and God dosent seem to answer. He lets him call and harass me and he knows I wont fight back. God, why do I want to be hurt? why wont you protect me? i want to talk to someone, but the only person I want to talk to, wont call me back. Lord Jesus, I just want my life to be normal. I am tired of drama. I feel like the only way i can be normal is to kill myself, but i know that God dosent think thats right. I dont know...........I just dont know who to talk to or what to do, or how to feel.

Smai

smainahalf's Xanga Site

wow..........I accepted Jesus............Now what.I know that I cant stop cutting. I tried to go two days at camp and couldnt go two hours.......whats wrong with me?????? I am so mad at Rita's friend for taking my last blade. I only had it to keep me company when there was no one to talk to.He proceded to tell me that my life couldn't possibly be that bad and so I gave him a quick three second glance and he was like "Damn....you've gone through a lot...." and I was like "yeah, thats why I carry the blade" and he was like, "well thats too bad. you'll just have to find someone else to turn to, cause I am taking this" and I was all like  "HELL NO YOU ARE NOT!!!!!!!!!!" and then he took it out of his pocket, said, "say good bye," and he then put it in his pocket and left. Jerk. Thats okay, though, because I found somthing better...... the combination of Jesus and an Ex-acto knife. I feel special. Well...... I guess I better go. Jesus and my Ex-acto knife are calling. Oh, and Veg, dont worry I am gonna turn it in to our wonderful pastor in exactly 3 weeks, on Wednesday, March 17,2004. I love you Peril and you too Veggie! Jesus is my hero.... He sent me my knife, so I am thankful! 

Smai

smainahalf's Xanga Site - 1/31/2004 7:28:00 PM